Life. Love. Uni

This past month my life has gone in many directions. My Uni life has become so consumed I don't know what's happening half the time, and as of late my personal life has taken a turn, in the right direction of course, well mostly in the right direction. Its hard when you get to know someone on a close personal level, and than to have so much shit just dump on it...its not funny! It hinders all progress made and bonds made between them - yes them. When I look back at things, I can say that this semester at university has been my worst to date. If I manage to pass anything at all, I'd be a very happy man.

Fuck you world!

Dear world...

Would you really miss an individual if they no longer existed? Would there footprint ever make the world a better place? Would anyone care if an individual no longer existed? Would the world care if I no longer existed? Would you be happy that I no longer leave a footprint on the earth? Is there someone who would care if I no longer existed?

The answer is no.

Hopeless beyond belief

Everyday I wake and I think to myself, 'I still love her'. I try to put if out of my head but the more I think about it the more I plagues my mind. I need to find a way to shake this feeling because as long as it lingers, I know everything I do will have someone else on my mind.

It's been almost a month now....I'm hopeless beyond belief.

Angiosperms can go get fucked!

Here I sit. Worrying about my exams. I'm gonna fail them, no question about it. I just haven't tried this semester.Probably should of, but I've had no motivation. I used to give it my all for someone who means the absolute world to me. Now I feel like I should drop out and become a laborer and spend my days out in the sun doing something worth while.

I have 12 hours of exams over the next week and a half, I need to worry about them, but in the front of my mind is the thought, 'Does she enjoy what she is doing?' That is something I cannot answer. It can be solved easily enough with a piece of lead, one second and it all goes away. That may sound like the easy way out of things, but it's the only one which makes the most sense. Why bother going through the crap which will unfold when the answer I want is clouded.

My life is currently fucked up at this point in time. I have an exam in ~12 hours, and I know nothing what so ever about plants. The only solace I can find in it all is getting away from the house and talking to someone who is a great vent person to talk too.

So, my life is in shambles and I wish to take the easy way out of it.

PS: I'm in good health. My weight issue has reverted back to the way it was when I was a child, so once again I'm a fat, well obese individual, and maybe this is the cause of all my issues.

Edit: BTW, I enjoy writing here because no one will read this...its a great place to vent when no one cares!